Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
