About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
