well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
