During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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