ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
