At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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