he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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