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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize