I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
