there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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