I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Quick, to the slutcave!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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