Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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