Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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