she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
