he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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