Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
