i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
