all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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