My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
