Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
