i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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