honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
