we're blogging at a bar
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize