never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
