Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
