I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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