how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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