Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
As shirtless as possible
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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