Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
