Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
