I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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