When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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