Just cropdusted the office
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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