If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
