how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
