If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
