lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
