I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Barsexuality is the new black.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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