The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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