over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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