i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
