my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Mom said you looked used
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
