just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
