You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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