I think i peed on brittanys purse
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
