Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
