Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
