; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
