1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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