no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
