My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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