i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My penis needs a shock collar
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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