12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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