Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
