so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
