What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize