Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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