you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize