some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
