He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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