That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
