Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
