I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're too hungover to prance.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize